Cindy Allen & Associates PLLC

Phone: 405-310-8673

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Shielding children from emotional harm during a divorce

The number of contentious child custody disputes in Oklahoma and around the country may be falling, as a growing body of evidence highlights the destructive impact that these battles can have on the children involved. Co-parenting situations are viewed by many observers as being in the best interests of children, and family law judges are leaning more and more toward these arrangements when called upon to make child custody decisions.

Even divorcing parents who find it difficult to carry on a civil conversation will usually put their animosities to one side when the happiness of their children is at stake, and simply accepting that they are both trying their best may be enough to get co-parenting talks off to a good start. Children and parents fare better when their responsibilities and the consequences of failing to live up to them are clear, and seeing their parents working together despite their differences sends a powerful message to children about responsibility and love.

Raising children is fraught with challenges, and petty squabbles sometimes evolve into vitriolic disputes. Dragging children into these quarrels to act as either messengers or sounding boards can lead to disaster, and parenting plans should be developed to avoid this and other pitfalls. However, these plans may be counterproductive if their provisions are too rigid and parents are forced to look for ways to get around them.

Reaching an amicable agreement is important in child custody negotiations because prolonged legal battles can be extremely expensive and cause children great emotional harm. Family law attorneys may make the stakes clear to divorcing parents before these talks begin and remind them that the they should both desire an outcome that will allow their children to be happy and thrive. When these efforts fail to produce a co-parenting plan, attorneys may advise their clients to consider alternative approaches like mediation.

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